The Fellowship of the Ring | The Two Towers | The Return of the King
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Gasp! Who else was I expecting to find here unless the Dark Lord?! There's no need to be sarcastic, you know. Let me fill you in on this faceless meanie: |
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Sauron lied to all the Elves, Dwarves and Men that he was their ally and gave them rings in 'friendship'. Then he had an even better ring forged in secret and attacked Middle Earth!
Sneaky. But how can he attack all ME if there's only one of him?
Oh easy - he captured Elves in their thousands and tortured them until they no longer resembled Elves but were in fact a new race - Orc. These slimy, extremely stupid creatures are below.
Wait! Did they win? Do Orc rule ME now?
Put
it this way - if they were, I wouldn't be making this site.
How do I find out more about the DL?
Read his Secret Diary - written for this site only!
Dark Lord quote: none (Guess he's a bit shy?)
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Orc are the slaves of the Dark Lord, who do the fighting and stuff and don't brush their yellow pointy teeth.
| (Bursts
out laughing) Is that a.. skull?!
Not funny. So you were saying Orcs were stupid... |
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Yeah, they're primitive compared to Saruman's Urak-Hai 'cos they can't go out in sunlight.
Why not?
Because they're bad, of course!
OK.
Orc quote: "The Age of Men is over. The Time of the Orc has come."
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Wraiths are the ghosts of powerful men who fell into the Dark Lord's trap of lies.
| Ooh,
original - all dark and cloaked! No need for sarcasm. I'm SO scared! |
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Be quiet! There are nine Wraiths (you know the thing: ...Nine for mortal Men doomed to die...)
Spooky! So they're ghosts and they do... what?
Whatever errand the Dark Lord sends them on. He wants the One Ring, so they go around on black horses asking people 'til they find it.
Ha ha! They ASK? They could go crashing through the doors of houses, crying 'Boo! Where's the ring?' !
I give up on you.
Ringwraith quote: "Baggins... Shire..."
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Urak-Hai are the slaves of Saruman the White. I think Orcs dig them out of the ground, but I'm not sure.
| Wierd. Yep, they fall out in huge skin-like sacks and- Gross! You give way too much detail! |
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Moving on. The Uraks are the creatures that attack the Fellowship at the end of movie #1. They've been sent to capture two Hobbits (Sam and Frodo) but pick up poor Merry and Pippin instead. So I guess they're not THAT much cleverer.
Urak-Hai quote: (sniffs the air) "Man-flesh"
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Gollum was a Hobbit called Smeagol.
| (Blinks
rapidly) Really? Yes, and you know even the nicest creatures can be corrupted by the One Ring... Go on. |
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It was Smeagol's birthday, and he and his friend Deagol had gone fishing. Deagol found the Ring in the water and Smeagol was drawn in by its, erm... shininess? He wanted it so bad he killed Deagol and fell under the Ring's spell. He became a bit of a nuisance in the village and was kicked out, where he lived alone in darkness.
Was he okay in the end?
Depends how you see 'okay' - click on the blinkie and you'll see what he looks like.
Gollum quote: "Sneaking? Sneaking? Fat hobbit is always so polite. Sméagol shows them secret ways that nobody else could find, and they say "sneak". Sneak? Very nice friend. Oh, yes, my precious. Very nice, very nice."
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Wormtongue is the slave of Saruman.
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all bad guys have slaves or something? Of course. Wormtongue does the dirty work for the evil Wizard. He looks like it! |
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Er, yeah. Wormtongue's latest job means becoming adviser to the King of Rohan, Theoden.
Sounds good.
Did I mention while he's there he practically rules the place while the King rots?
No, you didn't.
Wormtongue quote: "You see much Eomer, Son of Eomund. Too much."
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